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Arrests, Info, Kills, My Mother, My Story, Sami

My Mother – a threat to national security

Writing about personal experiences might help releasing the frustration and anger. A friend told me to write about my personal experiences during the wave of public anger against the Syrian Regime. For those who are interested in personal experiences, this is a true story… It happened to me…

Week after week, the demonstrations in Syria have been spreading from one city to another, one town to another, one neighborhood to another… Over nine weeks of unrest, I heard many stories, some of them I didn’t want to believe, and some I just couldn’t believe. Horrible, terrifying stories are happening in my country, to my people… Sadly, they were all true…

Passing by a military sieged city, I saw a woman begging a soldier to let her go out to take a months-old child to a doctor, her tears were like knives that went straight to my heart, as I told the driver to stop maybe we can see what we wished to happen. The soldier pointed his gun at us and threaten to shoot instead.

I was shocked at this soldier’s behavior, we have witnessed and heard about the brutality of secret police, but to see a soldier whose vow was to protect the land and the people causes more agony and suffering to people and shedding blood over the land was painfully shocking…

The image of that woman and her little baby crying hasn’t left my mind for weeks, until another image, too personal to be ever forgotten, was carved into my memory. My mother has been suffering for a long time now, she is sick and needs a lot of care and attention. One day I was coming back home from another city to take her to her critical appointment at the hospital when I was surprised by a military tank blocking the way, and forcing people to turn back. They were besieging another town on my way, but they were blocking all traffic, forcing complete isolation upon many cities and towns. I went to a soldier asking him to let me pass through and explaining my mother’s critical situation. He refused to even listen, and again I faced another army gun pointed at my face with threats to shoot if I don’t get back. “She’s an old woman, she’s very sick and needs to be in the hospital today… I don’t know when we can reschedule her appointment!!!” I told the soldier at gun point… “It’s a matter of national security, we need to secure the area”, said the soldier with his gun pointed at my face… For a second I felt how the parents of those poor tortured kids felt, and was about to shout all those freedom chants I had kept within, and then I thought I will do more good to my mother alive than dead, so I went back and stayed out of home for 2 nights unable to even call my mother and tell her what happened because they cut all connections in and out of that complete area…

For two nights, I couldn’t think but how a very ill old woman can be a threat to national security, and how I can tell her how sorry I was for the pain caused by a country she worked so hard before trying to make it a better place.

For a while I thought the words “I’m sorry mum, you might not survive this”, were the hardest words I had to say to my mother, yet after explaining to her what had happened, I knew for sure that the unspoken words yet the declared thoughts of “I’m sorry mum… all your efforts have gone in vain…”, were truly the hardest.



  1. Pingback: Revolution Journal – May 2011 « Sami Hamwi - 18/05/2012

  2. Pingback: The Grief Will Never End | Sami Hamwi - 10/05/2014

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